Dad’s scrotum ‘sliced in two’ after suffering devastating front wedgie on soft play slide

An 18 stone 31-year-old father of two is recovering in hospital today after he suffered a catastrophic front wedgie while attempting to use the slide at a...

Spurs announce parade after overcoming HUGE ADVERSITY to draw with team bottom of League...

Tottenham Hotspur Football Club has announced that they will be running an open-top bus parade around the streets of Edmonton and Seven Sisters on Monday morning after...

Desperate KFC customers resort to roaming countryside taking bites from live chickens

It has been reported that scores of KFC addicts have been spotted roaming the countryside and taking bites out of live chickens as the nationwide KFC chicken...

ANGER after asylum seeker costs NHS £1100 per day just by using their website

There has been an angry reaction after it emerged that an asylum seeker from Libya who is living in Southend, Essex is currently costing the NHS more...

Oxfam refuses to send earthquake aid workers to Wales as sheep ‘aren’t fit enough’

A spokesperson for Oxfam has confirmed that they are not prepared to send aid workers to Earthquake-stricken South Wales because the sheep aren't fit enough. He said, 'As...

Woman shocked after discovering that entering PIN backwards at ATM does FUCK ALL

A 35-year-old woman from Southend in Essex has been describing her shock after she discovered that entering her PIN number in a cash machine backwards while being...

BREAKING: Daily Mail confirms ‘earthquake’ was caused by migrants

An article in the Daily Mail has just confirmed that the earthquake that was felt between Cornwall and Blackpool this afternoon was caused by migrants.  According to a...

Corbyn was man in Inspector Gadget with cat who said ‘I’ll get you next...

An exclusive report in The Telegraph has revealed that the leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn used to be the man who appeared at the end...

KFC rebrands to JFC as Health Secretary keeps chickening out of questions

A spokesperson for KFC has confirmed that the company has now rebranded to JFC as a tribute to the health and social care secretary Jeremy Hunt who...

Great Britain celebrates going downhill very quickly

People across Great Britain have been celebrating today after the nation’s first medal in this year’s Winter Olympics In Pyeongchang was won for going downhill very quickly.  There...