Metropolitan Police commanders have estimated that around 20,000 vegans have gathered outside the Houses of Parliament in London for what has been described as Europe’s largest ever Turkey vigil. 

According to the organisers the Vegan Action Group, the rally is taking place in memory of the ‘millions’ of Turkeys who have been ‘needlessly slaughtered’ for the festive season. 

VAG regional co-ordinator Jeremy Myko-Proten said: ‘We’re giving up precious time with our friends and families to say that enough is enough.’

‘Cooking a whole bird for Christmas dinner is a barbaric and needless practice that should have died out in medieval times. We would have invited the Vegetarian Action Guild along as well but someone tipped us off and said that their Thermos flasks of tea and coffee will have milk in.’

‘That makes them just as bad as the abbatoir owners in our eyes.’

Divisional Commander of the Met Police DC Bottomley Potts told our Chief Reporter that the vigil had passed in a mainly peaceful manner. 

He added: ‘There was only one arrest after one participant offered someone a piece of a nut roast – things turned violent very quickly after the tasting.’

‘Three more people were cautioned for lecturing with intent, and a fixed penalty notice was issued to a 23-year-old male who threw a small rock at Kevin Bacon – the actor was taking part in the march.’

‘It would appear that there had been some sort of misunderstanding.’