A pub owner from Southend has described how he has managed to turn a £6 lasagna into a £39.95 Valentine’s Feast by adding a pink tablecloth. 

David De L’Arnaque owns The Green Sausage in the town centre, and he told Southend News Network that the simple table decoration was the sole justification for the 400% price hike.

He added, ‘To be honest, if your partner isn’t willing to pay 400% on top for a meal out, he or she doesn’t deserve your love in return.’

’Make sure you add a bottle of Pisse De Gnat Prosecco as well for £24.99.’

’We have a range of house wines on the menu from £9.99, but anything at this price level means that he is probably saving his money for his bit on the side.’