Although the UK government announced today that Article 50 is due to be triggered on Wednesday 29th March, this plan has now been thrown into chaos after it was discovered that the UK’s EU welcome pack doesn’t have an Article 50 in it. 

Junior Minster for Brexit Douglas Frenulum-Thomas told our Chief Reporter that the glossy folder simply has a ‘blank plastic pocket’ where Article 50 should be located.

He added: ‘At the back of every welcome pack there are lots of plastic pockets that hold individual articles of the Lisbon Treaty.’

‘Articles 1-49 are there, but the pocket for Article 50 is empty for some reason.’

‘To make matters worse, they seem to have given us two Article 74s – the form that has to be filled in to request a gluten-free lunch in the European Parliament.’

‘The gap for Article 134 just has a menu for some Chinese takeaway in Strasbourg.’

‘We have contacted the European Parliament for a replacement document, but they have said that the EU printworks is currently closed until October 2017 due to renovation works and they don’t have any in stock.’

‘A member of my staff called France to see if we could photocopy their Article 50, but we would need to Tipp-Ex out the word ‘France’ and apparently this would make the document invalid.’

‘We have a team of people looking for a PDF version on the EU website but they haven’t found it yet.’

According to an expert source, Article 50 cannot simply be emailed to the EU as the staff member responsible hasn’t upgraded to Outlook 2010.