A chef and restaurant owner from Westcliff On Sea has been telling Southend News Network about ‘the most terrifying experience of his life’ after ordering a DUTCH OVEN from the online classifieds site Gumtree. 

Patrick Kwilt, who opened The Westcliff Patio in 2011, told our Chief Reporter that he intends to go to the police over the incredible misunderstanding. 

He said: ‘I am looking for new features to install in our outdoor dining area, and I wanted to buy a Dutch oven for al fresco cooking at special events and theme evenings.’

‘I went to the Southend page on Gumtree and used the ‘wanted’ section to see if anyone could give me a Dutch oven in the local area – I even made it clear that I was willing to pay the market rate.’

‘I was overwhelmed by the number of responses that flooded my inbox, and luckily someone was supposedly able to help in Fairfax Drive just a few minutes from the restaurant.’

‘I drove round there right away, and the middle-aged man who answered the door invited me inside. He then told me that he was feeling nervous as it was his first time at this, and I just assumed that he was referring to using Gumtree.’

‘He told me to follow him to the bedroom, and I thought that this was odd as people wouldn’t usually keep a large kitchen appliance in there.’

‘He then got under the covers of his bed and released the longest, loudest bout of flatulence that I have ever heard – he said that he had been eating nothing but cabbage all day.’

‘He was keeping the bed covers firmly wedged around his mattress like some kind of vacuum,  and when he invited me in as well I realised that there may have been some kind of misunderstanding.’

‘I made my excuses and left, and I had similar experiences with four other people who contacted me – I am going to report them all the police as I have never felt more disgusted in all my life.’

‘Perhaps I should look for something else to use for outdoor cooking at the restaurant. A Cleveland Steamer could help us prepare fresh vegetables in the open air, but I am cautious about using Gumtree again.’