The elderly gentleman who appears on a warning triangle on thousands of British roads has revealed that he is ‘fed up’ with his wife having her hand up his bottom.

Speaking to Southend News Network, 89-year-old Arthur Ringpiece said that what started out as a bit of ‘kinky fun’ was now causing him a huge amount of discomfort.

He added: ‘When I first modelled for the photo on 1971, my wife Elsie suggested that she put her entire fist up in there as it was all the rage at the time, and I have to admit that it has really helped to pass the time during those long, boring periods in the countryside when no bugger drives past.’

‘However, old age waits for nobody, and anatomically and biologically I am a very different person now.’

‘I can’t fart without making a terrible whistling sound, and my prostate is now the size of an American football – at least the walking stick gives me a bit of support.’

‘I’ve always thought that the whole thing was really sexist anyway – not once have the Highway Code people popped round and asked if we could change position.’

‘I’d like to see how she handles me shoving my whole hand up her tuppence, all in the name of warning passing motorists that there may be geriatrics around.’

‘We look a silhouette of Keith Harris and Orville gone wild.’


Wife Elsie added: ‘It’s not my fault. I suffer from terrible water retention and it just sort of got stuck.’