A spokesperson for the Essex Business Confederation has said that it is a ‘huge honour’ after two businesspeople from Essex made it through to the final of Britain’s Smuggest Bastard 2016. 

Tournament organiser Derek Cringe told Southend News Network that this year’s final round between Southend car salesman Clive Robbington and Basildon estate agent Gareth Zump was literally ‘too close to call.’

He said: ‘Both of these competitors have made it through to this stage by performing at the very top of their profession. Clive won his semi-final by a landslide after telling a customer that he was going to ‘get him into the driver’s seat of a Nissan X-Trail’ like he was going to physically pick the guy up and carefully place him in there himself.’

‘Gareth ended up waltzing through his semi-final by having a huge photo of himself inserted in his local paper in a story about a local estate agent telling the rest of the public about how fucking amazing the market is at the moment for estate agents, buyers, sellers, renters and landlords. He was even awarded ten bonus points for having a Rolex clearly visible on the dashboard of his 2016 Mini Cooper.’

The final will be a lavish ‘black tie’ event at the Cliffs Pavilion in December, where both competitors will be invited onto the stage to give a speech about their success in business.

A panel of five members of the public will be on stage to judge the speeches, with the overall prize being awarded to the competitor who gets the highest number of smacks in the face.

The 2015 competition was mired in controversy after a letting agent actually sold his own grandmother to achieve a 15% rent increase for a hard-pressed landlord in Leigh On Sea.