Here’s a list of everything and everyone who has more points than West Ham United
Whatever nine, ten and eleven-sided shapes are called.
Someone who has been caught driving while using a mobile twice.
Someone who has been caught driving while using a mobile and also doing 60 miles per hour in a residential street.
The approach to Clapham Junction.
A red, followed by the black, and then another red.
Most random chucks of a dart, even when bladdered.
Anyone in the football pyramid who has managed to win three measly games this season.
The sheet of paper entitled: ‘A list of reasons why the transfer of Carlos Tevez was dodgy as fuck.’
Anyone spending more than £9.00 in Tesco who has remembered their Clubcard.
Most of the Premier League.
Anyone in Rugby Union who has scored a try and a conversion where the referee can’t count.
Most entries in any given Eurovision Song Contest.
Someone who completely fucks up a GCSE maths question but still manages to show some logical working out.
A toddler using the ramp and the bumpers at ten pin bowling.