A spokesperson for Yorkshire Police has confirmed that Howard Brown, the ex-star and singer of a number of Halifax adverts, has been arrested for attacking Fred Flintstone while the American actor was filming an advert for the bank in Harrogate.
According to one witness, Brown ‘beat the living sh*t’ out of Flintstone while screaming about him stealing his job.
He said: ‘Howard just jumped out of nowhere and started giving him a right good pasting, before he grabbed the nearest plank of wood and started shouting ‘where’s Bam Bam? I’ll have him an’ all.’
‘As soon as it was clear that police sirens were getting closer and closer, he begged the director to drop the charges and started an impromptu rendition of Who Gives You Extra before running off down an alleyway.’
‘A friend told me he was spotted 30 minutes later trying to find Top Cat in the bins to the rear of Sideways Kebabs on Harrogate High Street.’
A friend of Howard added: ‘It’s been a tough time for him.’
‘One minute he is the most recognised face on TV, then fast forward a few years and Halifax are rapidly running out of kids TV franchises looking to whore themselves out.’
‘At least he hasn’t turned out like that fat insurance bastard or the grossly misrepresentative meerkats.’
‘What the hell are they working with Thunderbirds for now anyway?’
‘I have a Blue Peter Tracy Island from 1993 that still isn’t bloody dry, and the VHS recording with Anthea Turner has almost worn out, if you catch my drift.’