Why is it that people who are ‘looking for recommendations’ on Facebook are usually just attention-seeking pricks who are unable to use Google?

It’s like they are sitting down, rubbing their hands together with glee at the prospect of the inevitable illiterate slanging match that is about to kick off when they ask their stupid fucking question on some Facebook group called ‘Mums, Mumming and Mummery.’

For starters, they can’t usually figure out how the feature actually works, and all of a sudden the map cocks up and Shell from Basildon is looking for a ‘Pepa Pig Cake’ in Bulgaria.

After that, it turns into a free for all where every person who is woefully unqualified to do whatever needs to be done jumps in.

‘Yea my mate Vagina-Chloe bakes cakes shes bin doing it for four months now and shes very cheep too PM her tho as she dosent get notifecashuns.’

She’s cheap for a reason. Her last attempt at Iggle Piggle made him look like he had just suffered a stroke.

Sadly, the people who actually have years of experience and have the sheer fucking nerve to make a modest profit for 15 hours work get lost in a sea of, how can I put this diplomatically, twats.

Ironically, these are usually the same morons who post memes about supporting local businesses, before getting Vicki’s cousin Baz to rewire their whole house because he’ll do it for £500 and has watched more than six YouTube videos about it.

The pièce de résistance comes when numerous people comment with ‘F.’

At least I now know that this stands for ‘Fucking hell I am too dumb to see that button saying ‘Turn on notifications for this post.’

How about the people who post ‘BUMP?’

Does anyone else hope that this is the sound of them slamming their head into a wall until they lose the mental capacity to Facebook?