A man is recovering in hospital tonight after being subjected to a ‘vicious and horrifying pigeon attack’ on Southend High Street on Saturday afternoon. 

According to witnesses, a pigeon landed on a man’s head close to Dorothy Perkins and within seconds the bird’s feet became tangled in his hair.

Social media anarchist Jon Morter witnessed the attack, and he told Southend News Network that the vision of the avian assault reduced him to a hysterical wreck. 

He added: ‘I was unable to get my phone out in time to record the incident, so I have drawn the horrific scene instead.’

Image reproduced with no permission whatsoever from Jon Morter’s Facebook page.

‘The sound of this man’s struggle will remain with me until my dying day. All I could hear at the time was ‘Oi! Oi! Oi!.’

‘It was like the pigeon should have been capable of interpreting the local dialect which roughly translates to ‘get the fuck off my head you flappy c*nt.’

Jon Morter

Southend Town Centre police officer PC Roger Peacie confirmed that the victim is recovering in Southend Hospital. 

PC Peacie added: ‘Pigeons and seagulls seem have been getting bolder and angrier over the last six months in Southend. We are advising the general public to stop overbuying chips and leaving them in a crumpled heap on the floor.’