Will you 'Pinch Some Salt' to ensure that all Essex roads are safe this winter?

It is the news that local government officials have been dreading in Essex: snow has been forecast for much of the United Kingdom over the weekend and into next week. Stocks of grit across the county are ‘dangerously low’ after large amounts were laid to protect motorists during the high winds of Hurricane Abigail, Hurricane Kate and Storm Barney, and the predicted eight inches of snowfall could create havoc.

After an emergency meeting was conducted at County Headquarters this morning, council chiefs have launched a campaign called ‘Pinch Some Salt’ – a scheme designed to get people across Essex to wander into their nearest café, restaurant or service station and steal as many packets of complimentary salt as possible. David Nacl, who is spearheading the project, explained how every Essex citizen can help to keep our roads safe over the winter.

He said, ‘Across the county, we have incredibly low stocks of salt, yet when you walk into some restaurants they seem to have literally millions of packets. Bearing in mind that these are complimentary, there is nothing stopping passers-by from walking in and stuffing their pockets and bags with as many of these little packets of salt as possible. Once you have removed as many packets of salt as you can carry, simply take them to your nearest ‘Pinch Some Salt’ collection point – these will be confirmed shortly.’

During his interview with Southend News Network, Mr Nacl also confirmed that people should be very careful not to donate other condiments by mistake. ‘Since we launched the scheme at 9.30am this morning, we have had a number of people donating pepper sachets by accident. Pepper is pretty much useless on the roads in icy conditions, and passing hedgehogs can literally sneeze themselves to death on the stuff. Canderel and tartare sauce are also lethal to wildlife.’

500 ‘Pinch Some Salt’ volunteers are required for a sachet opening depot that is due to open in Colchester, and those in charge of the project have estimated that 5 billion sachets will be needed to get Essex salt stocks back to their original levels – there really is no time to lose.