In a dramatic turn of events this afternoon, Southend News Network’s ‘the latest news from Southend, honest’ articles were sensationally BANNED from a popular local Facebook group. According to one of the group’s members, this action has been taken to avoid upsetting people who are suffering from a much-misunderstood condition where the brain interprets all content from the Internet using the Definitive Truth Frontal Lobe of the brain – this is known to most medical professionals by its Latin name of Satirus Non Recognito Syndrome.

A source within the group said: ‘Although the founder of the group has posted in the past that the content of SNN isn’t to their personal taste but also that it is quite well-written nevertheless, it would now appear that other individuals are taking it upon themselves to act as the all-powerful guardians of the online universe. I for one agree with the ban of all SNN articles as I am entirely unable to read the blatant hints at the top of bottom of every page. Until they put the words ‘NOT TRUE’ in giant flashing letters at the top of every page with animated Can Can dancers surrounding the warnings, I will report every article as the filthy cesspool of hatred and deceit that they clearly are. Why should those with the faculty of critical thought be given the opportunity to enjoy Facebook once in a while?’

We tried to contact the Chief Reporter for a comment, but he was otherwise engaged at the end of Southend Pier looking dejectedly into The Thames will mumbling the words ‘should I’ over and over again.


  1. Don’t do it.

    You’ll get into trouble pissing on top of Facebook users on the beach below.