Bosses at Sports Direct have been SLAMMED after a recruitment drive was launched to find 500 KILOS of sales advisers for their Southend store. 

In the wake of recent allegations that the national retailer isn’t treating staff ‘as human beings,’ local recruitment agencies have been frantically weighing potential candidates to ensure that the total order doesn’t go over or under. 

Andy Smear, head of Recruiting Recruitment Procurement Resource Recruitment at Southend-based agency Cattle and Co., said that this was a huge investment in Southend’s economy. 

He added: ‘At a time when there is so much uncertainty in retail, market leaders like Sports Direct are actively looking for half a metric ton of fresh and emerging retail talent.’

‘We haven’t had an order this good the council asked us for 750 kilos of loud sexual-conquest braggers for the local rubbish collection routes.’

We approached the retailer for a statement, but they were unwilling to discuss ‘internal recruitment policy. A spokesperson did inform us that new employee benefits are being introduced, including free oxygen during breaks.