A spokesperson at The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has pulled the USA out of the Paris Climate Agreement because the administration is already paying for the services of Captain Planet and The Planeteers.
Sean Spicer added: ‘One week ago, Mr Trump was watching TV when he noticed a documentary about a group of activists called Captain Planet and The Planeteers.’
‘He was particularly impressed by the way that they come from all over the world and put political and religious differences aside to battle evil forces who want to harm the planet.’
‘Hoggish Greedly is just one multinational businessman who has been brought into line by this campaign group, and he was dismayed to see that there was not a single mention of him or any of the other eco-villains in the Paris documents.’
‘That was the main deciding factor.’
‘Mr Trump felt that while the Paris Agreement was mainly talking and science, these individuals were out in the field accomplishing so much more than a piece of paper.’
‘We now have representatives looking for the Captain but he is quite hard to track down.’
‘What other hero will take pollution down to zero in these crazy times? Nobody at that meeting, I can tell you.’
‘It’s time for America to be part of the solution and not the pollution.’
‘Apparently he hasn’t been seen properly since 1996. The CIA has tried to contact him through Gaia but her location is also unknown.’
We asked Mr Spicer if there are any other similar operations in progress to locate potential new members of Trump’s administration.
He replied: ‘The rumours are correct. The President is very keen to recruit Scrooge McDuck as an economics advisor, but he is currently recovering in hospital from some kind of diving injury.’