Will the 'dine for one, pay for two' menu at Le Pamplemousse Confondu help to ease feelings of loneliness and despair for dining singles?

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The controversial owner of Leigh restaurant Le Pamplemousse Confondu Leviathan Montrose-Nash has hit the headlines again after announcing that he is running a Valentine’s special over the weekend for SINGLES. However, in an effort to ease their feelings of loneliness and despair, he will be charging DOUBLE to ensure that diners feel like they are on a date or in a relationship.

While Mr Montrose-Nash was unavailable to speak to Southend News Network (he has been in court today over allegations that he threw a pregnant woman out of his restaurant for using the wrong type of knife), his Chef De Maison Tobias Henri-Gordon explained the special menu to our Chief Reporter. He said: ‘Valentine’s Day can be the most difficult time of the year for someone who doesn’t have anyone special to share it with, and so we are delighted to be doing our bit with our special menu for singles. Our regular set menu is £89.95 each at the weekend for three courses (vegetables, sides and tap water are extra), and so any singles who join us for a table for one will be charged £180.90.

He continued: ‘Although they may spend the evening looking around at other happy couples and thinking about ‘what might have been’, their spirits will be well and truly lifted when the bill arrives. They will feel like they are paying for two, and when they take themselves home for coffee who knows what might happen. This is all down to the magic of the occasion.’

Long-term Leigh bachelor Norris Morris-Simpleton has already booked a table for Saturday AND Sunday night, and he told our reporter that he ‘couldn’t wait’ to tuck in. He said: ‘Once again, Leigh On Sea is at the forefront of modern dining and haute cuisine – I wouldn’t be surprised if this Michelin-starred establishment decides to make it an all-year feature. Perhaps couples could also be charged double to make them feel like they were on course for a foursome?’

In a late development, Mr Henri-Gordon has announced that Le Pamplemousse Confondu is now FULLY BOOKED for both nights of Valentine’s weekend. However, the ‘dine for one, pay for two’ offer has been extended to their sister restaurant Le Vagin Volant in Old Leigh.