A 42-year-old woman from Leigh On Sea has been left only able to communicate in hashtags after suffering from a minor stroke – referred to by local doctors as a TIA (Transient ischaemic attack).
According to friends of Millicent Milfridge, who owns a scented soaps and fairtrade coffee store on The Broadway, she woke up in hospital and displayed ‘virtually no signs that she had suffered from a stroke.’
However, they did say that she could only communicate by saying the word ‘hashtag’ and then just speaking in combinations of words that were either ‘slightly relevant’ to the situation or completely unrelated in every way possible, unless it was just designed to draw attention to herself.
Her best friend Phillatollie Molton-Browne added: ‘We all rushed to Southend Hospital to see if she was OK, and it was amazing to see her with a big smile on her face.’
‘As soon as I walked up to her, she just said ‘hashtag inhospitalbutallOK’ without giving any further details as if she was somehow checking in.’
‘I then asked if she could remember anything about the night before, and she said: ‘hashtag drinkieswithmybesties hashtag onitwiththegirls hashtag lovinglifetothemax.’
‘It was obvious that she was getting tired by this point as she just looked a bit exhausted and said ‘hashtag allnaturalnofilter.’
‘She did look pretty hot without any makeup on, but I couldn’t see how the remark added anything to the situation.’
‘One of the nurses said that she had suffered from a TIA, but I didn’t have a clue what she was on about. I normally only see that acronym on Facebook when someone is asking if anyone in the area makes cakes, and the result is normally 42,423 people saying ‘yes.’
Chief of Clinical Clinics and Clinology at Southend Hospital Dr Shania Twain said: ‘We have carried out further tests on Ms Milfridge and it has now emerged that she hasn’t suffered from a stroke. She’s just a prick.’