An MP has claimed today that the introduction of women-only train carriages will be a good idea as they will ‘probably smell nicer.’

Jeremy Sponk is the MP for Foulness North, and he told Southend News Network that train carriages that can only be used by females will allow ladies to commute to work in ‘a pleasant haze of lavender, essential oils and CK One.’

He added: ‘When you introduce men into a train carriage, you might be lucky and get a bit of Lynx or a splash of Brut, but most of the time they have just finished a hard day of work on the building site and will therefore turn your average train into a cesspit of body odour, Golden Virginia, Red Bull and hormones.’

‘With their own areas exclusively for their gender, they will probably also keep things a bit tidier and plug in a Glade if things get a tad unpleasant.’

‘In any case, it will also give them a ‘safe space’ to discuss feminine health issues, relationship problems and embroidery – all topics that can lead to embarrassment when a man is present.’

‘Maybe they will all start comparing bras as well without prying male eyes.’

‘We’ll take the windows away or something like that.’

We asked Mr Sponk if carriages for men are on the horizon as well.

He said: ‘Yes of course. They can be restricted to cramped horrible knackered old shitwagons – that’s nothing more than the bastards deserve.’

‘We might just ban them from using trains altogether.’